From the casual humor sparkled in your last letter, I can see that you are keeping well. Therefore, I will spare us the usual boring small talk by avoiding asking how is your love life, your health or any updates on your business ventures.
Therefore, I will follow up by saying: "You shouldn't believe everything you hear or read about me in the media". My lovely wife and I sold our North Pole home before the recent market crash. We downsized our property several years ago due to the lack of Christmas spirit around the world. About the same time Apple's corporate shares started to rise and the media branded Mr. Job as the new Mr. Claus. Everyone looked more forward to see what he had to offer for Christmas.
To uncover the truth, we sold our Christmas business to a foreign investor on eBay. A guaranteed contract protecting its image, its values and the origin of the toy factory. He said: " South, North, East, West, mazal tov Central America, it's still "Made In America".
Please do take good care, my wife sends you the same warm regards in return. We are presently located in Port-Au-Prince, Haiti helping to spring back a vacation destination for the country. We look forward seeing your smile on the Island!
Best regards, to you and yours. Ho ho ho! Let's hope it's a good merry christmas and a happy new year, one without any tears.
PS: As for Rudolf, he went to Hollywood to produce a documentary regarding global warming in the North Pole and to raise donations for an AIDS foundations.
Keep the smile fresh, I am proud of you friend, do not break too many hearts.
-- Santa Claus
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